Tag: blog

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Be your authentic annoyed self

I think the part of being happy that people forget is that it’s not a state of being. No one is happy all of the time and it’s essential to happiness! Regardless of how negative emotions benefit us people will report that the because of how we felt about it, it was bad. So I think it’s important to talk about anxiety being useful. Most people know this superficially, but we still don’t value negative emotions because it makes us uncomfortable. There are so many situations where it is better to be in a sad or angry state than being in cheerful and optimistic state. It’s my personal opinion (also backed by studies) happiness should not be the end game, or the thing that should be pursued because if you try and attain it as a goal, it only makes it more difficult to attain. If I devote my life to the pursuit of happiness, I would be setting myself up for failure. You can’t control your happiness, because we’re so situationally influenced anything can ruin your “positivity”. You find happiness on the journey of perusing things you actually care about. I set up my time for what are the important things I want to accomplish and time to do whatever I want that satisfies me. Space for myself and space for the things that are important to me and my relationships. This does not discount positive emotions, mindfulness and positive mindset. It’s just far more effective to try and be fulfilled. Be present, explore and be curious to work out what works for you. And don’t interpret having negative emotions as being unfulfilled, as emotions, the full range of emotions are beneficial. When you think about first dates, rollercoasters, child birth, things that bring great joy and happiness is never pure happiness, emotions are blended. Being uncomfortable, acknowledging vulnerability and not avoiding anxiety transfers into being present which positively impacts on relationships and connections. It’s important to accept the positive role anxiety and other negative emotions have in our lives.

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On Overthinking

In life I’m a mess, in my head however everything is organised. My head likes things to follow rules. Especially social etiquette rules. I’m much more confident in social situations if I know I’m following the social norms. This morning my head was organised. I was going to get off the bus I was on and the next bus would be the 156. I checked and I was going to miss one the 162, but the 156 was only a minute away so not a big deal. However, when I got off the bus the 162 was still there and people were still getting on it… and I too could have also got on that bus, but I already had in my head that I was going to get on the 156 so I just stood there and waited for the 156. Once I have an idea in my head of the way something is going to happen it’s really difficult for me to adjust when something else happens. I get really annoyed when people don’t follow the script I prepared for them in my head. And I think about everything! So it’s really hard for me not to construct a pre-thought of something before it happens. There are very few people I cannot predict behaviour/responses from and understanding people is what keeps my head happy. My head appreciates consistency and anything else drives me insane, my head dislikes this, I on the other hand love it. When my head starts to spin out I do have a strategy that works for me. I zone out into my head, and in my head I keep archived thoughts, like a point in a memory or a thought that I start at and just explore in my head. Some are loosely based off memories and I’ll have a specific part of that memory that I revisit in my head, sometimes I just let it play through and other times I play it out in my head a different way… the way I wanted it to end. Sometimes it’s just a person, it’s amazing how just someones name can make you feel like you’ve slipped between freshly washed sheets in a properly made bed. Like home. Warm fuzzy feelings. I prefer to have happy places over people though, places don’t leave you.